Happy New Year!
New Year is often the time to create plans for the coming year, make goals, or new year's resolutions. We often start out strong with big goals and then start slipping on follow-through by the end of January. I’ve been there and felt that feeling of failure when I lost motivation and just couldn’t reach that goal.
Meeting your goals has nothing to do with your determination or strength. You can still be a strong badass woman and not meet your goals again and again.
It has everything to do with the why.
It has everything to do with feeling aligned with the goal.
It has everything to do with how the goal makes you feel.
It has everything to do with healing the past hurts.
I invite you to shift how you look at your goals this year. Often the things we are struggling with like our weight are actually meeting our needs in some way. I know it seems counterintuitive.
Why would something we are struggling with actually be helping...
Holidays can be a fun and stressful time, especially for moms. We juggle it all and work hard to make it magical for our families.
As a kid, I remember my mom busy the whole day. She bustled getting breakfast, gathering wrapping paper, keeping lists of who gave what for thank you cards, and juggling dinner. She made a magical day for us, but a busy day for her.
As a mom, I now know she also bought and wrapped all the presents including her own, sent Christmas cards, decorated the whole house, donated gifts, and planned and bought all we needed for presents and special meals.
I've done the same, and while I love getting everything ready and creating a magical day I have realized I miss out on some of my favorite things because I was too busy.
As women, we are the tradition keepers. We bring traditions from the generations before us. We choose what to continue and what to let go of. It is an important job but can feel heavy.
It can feel even...
At the beginning of the month, I took a bit of a break. I have been allowing myself to recharge and refocus.
It’s hard in our world to take a step back. Step out of the rat race of musts and shoulds. To give permission to protect our energy.
Fall has always been that time for me, but this is the first year I allowed myself that time.
Now, this was not a vacation. I still saw clients and did many of my regular to-dos, but not all. I looked at what was draining my energy and what brought me joy.
Emails and social media rose to the top of the draining my energy list. Family time, time in nature and time with clients and members brought me joy. So I pulled my energy back in closer and focused on those areas.
It wasn’t easy as I still felt the list of “shoulds.” But as I kept giving myself permission to choose the things that brought joy, my energy and creativity increased. That’s where the...
One of the biggest fears I hear is “If I allow myself to cry I will never stop.”
I understand that fear, but…
you knew there was a but coming.
I promise it won’t last forever. Remember how I talked about movement is the key to releasing the trauma?
It’s the key here too. We are not just opening the flood gates and leaving you hanging. We are not leaving you to drown in the grief and tears.
We are rewriting the story and finishing it with you in control. That’s what makes the tears stop.
The story ends.
Your body finishes the cycle and you look back on the story as just that, a story that happened, but no longer has control over you.
When the story ends the pain ends. The haunting memories end. You are free.
It’s not easy facing all the deep shit, but oh is it worth it. Yep, I’ve done this work too. I’ve dug deep. I’ve cried in front of strangers. I still do this deep shit work....
It used to be fun, but since having a baby it’s more of a stress. It’s not comfortable. You just are not that into it anymore. And you're wondering why.
We are all wired to have an accelerator and a brake when it comes to arousal. We tend to focus on the accelerator way more than our brakes.
Let’s focus on the brake, because that’s the biggest issue for moms.
There are two sexual brakes.
So what impacts the second brake? All of our mom worries. Not feeling sexy. Worrying about how we look. Worrying about pain. Feeling rushed. Listening for the baby. Stressing because there is so much to do like the dishes, laundry and other daily...
This week we celebrated my son's third birthday. A friend asked me does his birthday bring up negative emotions?
My answer was no. My son's birthday is not a struggle, but my daughter's birthday used to be.
Birthdays should be a day of celebration, but sometimes for moms, they are reminders of the difficult birth that brought that child into the world.
We too often never have the opportunity to really process all that happened to us during our child's birth. It can all happen in a whirlwind and then we are given this amazing and demanding little being. Our focus shifts to caring for our newborn and we never fully allow ourselves to heal emotionally from the birth.
After the birth, we may replay parts of our birth experience over and over. We may want to tell the story to anyone who will listen. We may have parts of the story we do not remember. Or we may completely avoid the story because it is too emotional.
When we say we had a difficult birth we are often...