This week we celebrated my son's third birthday. A friend asked me does his birthday bring up negative emotions?
My answer was no. My son's birthday is not a struggle, but my daughter's birthday used to be.
Birthdays should be a day of celebration, but sometimes for moms, they are reminders of the difficult birth that brought that child into the world.
We too often never have the opportunity to really process all that happened to us during our child's birth. It can all happen in a whirlwind and then we are given this amazing and demanding little being. Our focus shifts to caring for our newborn and we never fully allow ourselves to heal emotionally from the birth.
After the birth, we may replay parts of our birth experience over and over. We may want to tell the story to anyone who will listen. We may have parts of the story we do not remember. Or we may completely avoid the story because it is too emotional.
When we say we had a difficult birth we are often told to focus on the baby or we are lucky it could have been worse. Our feelings and experiences are dismissed and we feel even more alone.
I know many women who have to build themselves up for their child's birthday. They fear the saddness or anger will bring them down on what is supposed to be a happy day.
The first birthday can be the toughest. It's uncharted territory. How are you going to deal with the anniversary of a really stressful day while pretending to smile and laugh with all the family and friends around?
Your birth experience is important. It can impact your bonding with your baby, your relationship with your partner, and your self-esteem.
My daughter's first birthday brought back a way of emotions. I have repatterned her birth story and it is no longer emotional. I can think back and tell the story easily, which is good because she loves to hear it.
Taking the time to process, repattern, and fully heal from your experience can help release the negative emotions and triggering thoughts from your birth.
It frees you of the negative emotions and allows you to remember your experience peace.
If you have struggled with your birth experience I would love to help you release any negative emotions so you can look back on your birth positively. Schedule your free 20-minute consult so we can talk about your story and how to free you from the negative emotions.